Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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