I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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