her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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