Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize