Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
