I just threw up on my dentist
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
