Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
