Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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