you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
im calling her cock vulture from now on
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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