I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
