I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
