Duck Duck Cougar?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
