I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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