I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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