we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize