Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
