did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
