And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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