cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
