He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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