remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
