I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
