does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
