we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
