YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
