Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
