I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize