his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
