Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
