Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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