Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
