Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
