Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
