Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
