I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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