flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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