i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
