Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
