I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
