i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
