I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
