I love black thongs
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
