There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
