I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
