i would punch a child for taco bell
babies were throwing up all over the place
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
