I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
