i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
