Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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