You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
