a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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