So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
