Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
