There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just had sex bonerless
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
