You're my little dorito
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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