so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
