I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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