Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
