think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
