Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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