you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
