We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize