Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
