i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think my vagina is haunted
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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