I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
