Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
