Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
