For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
