i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize