dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
