I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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