Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
