I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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