hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
