my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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